Covid-19 has forced us to face some things about ourselves, and while we struggle with restrictions and change, some of us are struggling with the fact that during these times, are are forced to face some parts of ourselves that have been abandoned. Our inner child.
When children are emotionally and mentally injured, neglected, or abused in childhood, those inner wounds remain deeply hidden and entrenched in us as adults and never heal. For the child whose inner child has been injured, the child may act out in unloving ways, having temper tantrums, facing challenges in making or maintaining friendships, and remaining suspicious of the motives of others.
Physical or psychological abuse, or experiencing a broken family can all wound the inner child profoundly. As an adult you may feel like you’ve healed all the hurt or moved on from it all, but these deep wounds become hidden in our subconscious mind.
For the last 18 months, the focus on my spiritual growth has been on understanding and healing my inner child. The process has been difficult and hard to face, but through my commitment to my own growth and journey to ascension, I’ve been able to face some pretty dark truths and do some serious healing.
I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family that left me to fully fend for myself from a very early age in life. I now know as a 38 year old woman and a proud mother of 3 wonderful children, that there has been some serious divine intervention in my life that has kept me not only safe, but also alive during times where my life could have gone down a very dark and very windy road.
The roads I have travelled have deeply and profoundly shaped me, and although I know that a lot of the credit to who I am today is owed to my commitment to bettering my self, a lot is also owed to our divine creator and the unmistakable protection bestowed over my life.
My biggest realization has been that broken adults raise broken children and it was up to me to break the cycle of raising more broken adults, and to give my own children the love, protection and guidance that I needed as a child. With this realization came a huge responsibility. It meant that I would have to face my deepest wounds and heal all the broken parts of me. My own inner child.
Inner child work is such an integral part of our spiritual walk. Most people try to skip over this part as it’s often too painful and too time consuming and more often than not, too unbearable to relive. We want to forget the things that have hurt us. This is our self defense mechanism doing its job. It also means we have to face those deeply hidden parts of ourself that we have also chosen to abandon, and in actuality, abandoning our inner child. This is why this process is essential to your walk, essential in raising your own children as whole and complete beings of light and also essential to be able to better serve humanity in the process of ascension.
Healing your inner child is not only about facing the pain and traumas we’ve had to endure, it’s about healing the conditioning that has been forced upon us, the mind control that we’ve been forcefully subjected to through our own parents injured inner children, the media, our education and so forth. It is essentially healing anything that violated us as children in offering the nurturing and protection we deserved and we’re deprived of.
All the above mentioned things, trauma, abuse, sexual abuse, unacceptance, chaos, dysfunctional relationships and so on, makes the world seem an unsafe place for our inner child. We develop a belief system that the world is unsafe, that we are constantly being threatened, and so we lack trust and faith, we lack the ability to unconditionally love and most of all, to be loved! We retreat inward and barricade our inner child in an internal structure of walls and bars so high that your inner child becomes abandoned and completely suffocated.
There are many different interpretations out there as to what the “inner child” really means, but this is the one that I resonate with the most: Your inner child is the seed of who you are. Your inner child is always within you, it is the seed you started as, the essence of your soul, and the person you were before the world told you who to be.
This is not to say that the inner child is the ultimate you, rather it is the beginning point of you. It is the seed in which you came from, the seed that gives rise to the flower you continually blossom into and become. There are other external factors that affect the quality of the flower, such as its location, how often it is watered and so on, but essentially the birth of this flower, the person you are today, all began with a seed.
When we are fresh into this world we soak up our experiences like a sponge until around the age of 10 years old where we start to develop and form our on social constructs and our own opinions. After this time, the seed we are begins to sprout and we begin forming our own beliefs and getting ready to go our own separate way. Puberty is about to hit and we are preparing to make that rite of passage from child to adult.
Up until the age of 10, we are busy absorbing and processing everything we think, feel, smell, hear, and touch, into our subconscious mind. During these years, we start laying the framework and foundation for the patterns of our mind and the programming of our seed. If we experienced any type of trauma during this time, whether it was abuse, the loss of a parent or sibling, the changing of schools, or losing a precious childhood toy, how we reacted and dealt with it and how we were treated in return, is all stored and programmed into our subconscious.
During these formative years, it doesn’t really matter so much what happens to us, it’s more how we deal with it and how we are supported and nurtured as we are dealing with it that counts. Whatever the result may be, these events and our reaction to them become the blueprint for our seed and inner child. When something emotionally disturbing happens, most children lack the cognitive awareness to understand it or work through it. Their parents may get a divorce and through their limited cognitive understanding at that age, they may interpret their emotions and sadness to mean that it was their fault.
Just the same, if they were abused, they may interpret the emotions they feel to mean that they did something wrong or bad to deserve it. Without this being addressed, any type of trauma both big and small, will often end up being interpreted in a sensitive child’s mind as if it were their fault or they are to blame in some way for what had happened to them.
This programming of “I am bad” or “something is wrong with me” or “I am always a bother” then gets placed into the seed or subconscious mind. Even as the child grows up and realizes that it was not their fault that their parents divorced or that they were abused, or whatever the trauma may be, this level of programming can still remain in the inner child, in the seed of the mind, where it can slowly seep out into other areas of life long into adulthood. Many people resist doing inner child work because it can seem quite tedious to drag up the past.
As an adult, it is also easy to judge your younger self and chalk up your sadness or traumatic experience as just part of growing up, but it doesn’t mean that your feelings at that time weren’t real and still aren’t valid. It’s important to also mention here that inner child work is not about blaming your parents, as they were just doing the best they could with what they knew at the time and my guess is that if you encountered any of the scenarios mentioned here, it is likely that they too had their own traumas that have wounded them.
Even abusive parents were most likely victims of abuse themselves, or, experienced great trauma in their own formative years. Not that this excuses abuse, but it does help to shift out of blame and into a more proactive mindset. We all have traumas, each and every one of us, however, traumas and our emotional responses at this young age tend to shape us more than most. They tend to be a grid planted in our subconscious programming, and unless we go in there and rip it out, these patterns can continue to show up in all areas of our lives.
If you’re like me, I had buried my inner child so deep inside that I had lost all my joy, my innocence, my inner freedom and my creativity. Healing my inner child has been one of the most challenging aspects of my spiritual walk to date. You also, can set your inner child free, and for the purpose of this blog, I have given my best tips to guide you below, and remember, that in my mentorship program, I can help you through this process and if needed, make referrals to other professionals who can also assist.
Having a natal astrology chart reading can also help to uncover any deep and hidden wounds and I highly suggest having this done as a stepping stone to your healing journey.
Think about a traumatic memory, or even a life-changing event that may have happened between the ages of 1-10. Now see if you can go back to that event and work out how your younger self was feeling. See if you can pinpoint what your emotions were. Think of your surroundings, the smells, the furniture. Once you have pinpointed that, see how those same feelings may play a role in your habits and choices in your life today.
To break it down:
- Think of a traumatic, upsetting or life-changing event that happened as a child
- Figure out how that event made you feel as a child
- Look to see how those feelings lead you to make certain choices in your life as a wounded adult
Next, write a letter to your younger self just after this traumatic or life-changing event occurred. What would you have wanted your younger self to know? What would you have wanted your younger self to hear at that moment?
Then, set an intention to be more conscious of your actions and behaviors moving forward, and to check that your decisions in life are being made with love rather than fear.
Now, celebrate and rejoice that you are already on the road to being healed and perfect just as you are, wounds and all. it doesn’t matter what you experienced as a child or the feelings that you experienced towards yourself, you are whole, wonderful and complete. Remind yourself of that every single day, until you begin feeling the truth of it.
Finally, doing meditation will help you release any feelings deeply buried with your inner child and integrate your inner child into the life you currently live. Your inner child does not have to fear rejection, abandonment, neglect, abuse or a lack of love. You don’t have to keep her bound in a castle under lock and key because you can now protect your inner child as adult you. Release your inner child from the walls that surround and enjoy the freedom to be whole again.
Spiritual Mentorship Program
A spiritual mentoring session can be a powerful and transformative approach to your soul journey to enlightenment. Completed over email, messenger or phone in one hour blocks, this can help us both to connect from a distance and can significantly help you grow spiritually and become more fully integrated with your higher self. Those who benefit from this type of mentorship are: • Individuals who are struggling with their journey • Individuals who are feeling disconnected from source energy • Individuals who are feeling isolated and alone • Individuals who are feeling depressed • Individuals who cannot quiet their mind or truly get into a deep meditative state • Individuals who are wanting to learn how to connect with the cosmic forces that guide us and nurture us During the first session, we will spend some time together getting some facts which allows me to understand where you are at in your journey and how I can help you progress further. It’s a chance for both of us to get a sense of each other and see if we are a good match. Sessions can be booked weekly, fortnightly or monthly (subject to availability) and continue until we reach the accomplishment of mutual goal set out in the initial session.
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